Teen angst

As of late, I've been attempting to discover why I am such an idiot.

Every good thing that comes into my life, I push away. Every opportunity with every girl, I just throw them all away. Once anyone gets too interested in me and starts liking me, I run away from them. What is fucking wrong with me?

I over analyze. I over think. And once I start this process of analyzing, my thoughts get trapped in a cycle and I just think over and over. Until I can't take it anymore. And I fucking run away.

Why do I instinctively shy away from love? Why do I instinctively protect my heart? I guess I'm just scared of getting hurt. I hate this post, I hate my thoughts, I hate this manic-depression, most of all - I hate complicating things.

Here Comes The Sun.

Emmy The Great is the new object of my music addiction. I am so completely and thoroughly impressed with all of her songs. Its strange; it seems like the musicians I fall for the hardest are the ones I listen to at random or on a whim. Why this is, I will never be certain. Whatever, I cannot complain.

Things really do get worse before they get better. I find myself at this conclusion so often; as a matter of fact, I think it's my fuckin' motto or something. Yesterday was a bad time, but today is getting much better. My life goes through so many ups and downs in the blink of an eye, its ridiculous.

I am working to embrace possibility and deciding how I can achieve a better future. I am standing on the edge of deep, cool water. I am a second away from emerging myself in unprecedented and absolute feeling.

recent american history

here is a startlingly accurate display of what i learn each day at my high school. needless to say, i have a 4.0, lolzz.